This is my most anticipated blog post to date. It is also my edgiest (see what I did there?). Content is not suitable for children under 18, parents, anyone who knows me personally, or former husbands.

Let me tell you about the first time I learned about edging. A friend of mine casually mentioned it over drinks. Naturally, I assumed it had something to do with trimming hedges. Nope! It turns out edging is a sexual practice where you delay orgasm, and the way she explained it? She said her partner looked like he was in the middle of an exorcism during his hotly-anticipated and delayed orgasm. “Picture this,” she said, “his whole body was convulsing, his face was contorted, and he started pounding his fist into the bed like a caveman. Oh, and don’t forget the primal yelling. I thought he might actually levitate off the bed.” She said that she didn’t know what to do during this extended orgasm and even said to her new partner, “I don’t know my role here.”

As someone who had never heard of this before, I was intrigued but also mildly terrified. I mean, I’ve heard of some pretty intense reactions during sex, but the way she described it, this edging business sounded like it came with a side of demonic possession. But whether it’s edging or any other intimate activity, the key to making it work for both people is enthusiastic consent. Because if one person isn’t on board with supernatural-level intensity, things could take a turn for the awkward.

Consent: Essential Even for Exorcism-Level Delayed Orgasms

Consent is essential in any sexual activity, but especially in something like edging, which can toe the line between pleasure and frustration. The practice itself is about bringing yourself (or your partner) to the edge of climax and then pulling back, delaying orgasm to build anticipation. It sounds simple enough, but if both people aren’t fully on the same page about delaying pleasure, it can go from “I’m so excited” to “Why are you doing this to me?” real fast.

In my friend’s case, she and her partner had discussed edging beforehand, so everyone knew what they were in for. Still, no one mentioned that he might start chanting in tongues and fist-pounding like he was ready to go to war with his sheets. And here’s where consent comes in, not just at the beginning of the encounter but throughout the entire process. If your partner starts looking like they’re about to reenact a scene from The Conjuring, it’s a good time to check in and make sure they’re still enjoying the experience. In the case of my friend, she said her partner described his demonic expulsion as a full-body orgasm. So sounds like there were no complaints!

The Importance of Communication (Especially When Fists Are Involved)

The thing about edging is that it’s all about timing and control. It can be an amazing experience, but only if both people are comfortable. The primal urge to just let go and finish can be intense, which is why communication is so important. You can’t just assume your partner is into the delayed gratification. If at any point during your partner’s journey toward orgasm they start pounding their fist like they’re trying to hammer nails into the mattress, that’s a great opportunity to check in. Consent isn’t a one-time deal; it’s ongoing.

The Fine Art of Timing and Safewords

Edging is, at its core, about control: controlling your own urges, controlling your partner’s climax, and controlling the intensity of the experience. But as my friend’s experience showed, sometimes things get a little intense. In her case, the partner told her to let him know when she wanted him to come. As another friend put it, this resembles a wrestler tapping out and signaling all done. “I’m done with the penetration now!” Enter the all-important safeword. If one person is experiencing edging more like an exercise in torture, it’s crucial that they have a way to hit pause and say, “Let’s wrap this up before I start summoning aliens from another dimension.”

Having a safeword (or even just a clear, pre-discussed signal) can make all the difference between a fun, thrilling experience and one that leaves someone feeling frustrated, confused, or even overwhelmed. It’s about making sure both partners are enjoying themselves and feel comfortable in what’s happening. After all, edging is meant to be a shared experience, not one person’s solo journey into primal chaos.

Final Thoughts: Fun, Thrills, and Respecting Boundaries

Edging can be thrilling, chaotic, and wildly unpredictable, but only if both parties are enthusiastically on board with the experience. The key to making edging (or any sexual activity) work is open communication, mutual respect, and the understanding that consent can be given, adjusted, or withdrawn at any time.

So the next time you and your partner are exploring the world of delayed orgasms, remember to talk about boundaries and check in often. You don’t want your bedroom to turn into a set from a horror movie—unless, of course, that’s your thing!